Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Top Ten Evil Characters in gaming.



Ah evil. Killing, torturing, outright destroying, these qualities and others are what we deem as evil. In fiction and especially video games, we see and sometimes even face characters who have committed some horrific things. This list is a tribute to those characters responsible for some of the greatest tragedies in gaming, yet seek absolutely no redemption for said acts and indeed would do them again several times over if they could. Those characters who are completely reprehensible. Now as I said in my last top ten, I have not played every game in existence and chances are my tastes are completely different from yours. So if a character you consider the most evil does not appear on this list, don't sweat it. Also, this list will only be including characters from video games, not video games based off comic books, movies, novels or TV shows. So no Joker. So with that out of the way, lets begin.


10.) Dr. Angus Bumby (Alice: Madness Returns)



Angus Bumby represents everything that could be wrong with a psychiatrist, he uses his training and knowledge of the human mind to make his patients repress their entire personalities in order to turn them into mindless dolls that do anything he says, so he can make them into prostitutes and make money. And his patients? All young children who came from bad homes and live in his orphanage giving him access to them 24/7. But this is only the tip of the iceberg that is Bumby's depravity. As a young university student Bumby was smitten by Alice's older sister Elizabeth despite her complete uninterest in him. He was obsessed with Lizzie despite her rejecting him time and time again and this obsession grew to the point where one night he broke into the Liddel's household and raped Lizzie, murdered her, and set the house on fire beginning Alice's descent into madness. He would then attempt to condition Alice into a mindless sex doll like his other patients when she was released but failed. In the end Bumby is many things, a murderer, rapist, manipulator, and overall evil doctor. And when he is confronted by Alice for these horrific acts? No remorse whatsoever. Bumby is a truly evil human, turning damaged children into sex dolls, raping and murdering without remorse, and all under the guise of a kind and generous doctor. Truly diabolical.

9.) Darth Nihilus (Knights of the Old Republic 2)



Nihilus is an example of an all encompassing terrifying evil. It wouldn't even be accurate to call him a person anymore due to his nature as a wound in the Force, he doesn't even have a body anymore, his spirit is possessing his armor. He instinctively feeds on the life energy of others, capable of draining the life from entire planets and reducing them to nothing but wastelands. His strength in the Force has grown to where he can sense nearly anything happening in the galaxy, bordering on omnipotence and he uses this ability to seek out those strong in the Force so he can drain their energy, gaining even greater power and also sustaining himself. One could make the argument that he's not truly evil as what he does is based on self preservation instead of maliciously seeking out life, but I disagree. He knows full well what he is doing and he has no problem with it. The Sith seek power above all else, and Nihilus has found a way to continually grow more and more powerful with each person he kills, with each planet he destroys. The lives of millions mean nothing to him as long as his hunger is satisfied for even the briefest moments. He is selfishness, gluttony, and nihilism personified as befitting his title "The Lord of Hunger."

8.) Four Kings [Dark Souls]



The Four Kings were once wise kings who ruled over the city of New Londo, appointed by Lord Gwyn and entrusted with a portion of his Lord Soul, essentially making them demi gods. However shortly after Gwyn left to tend to the First Flame, a certain serpent tempted the Kings with the promise of dark power. Corrupted by the Abyss, the Kings twisted their knights into the twisted Dark-wraiths and began draining the humanity from all humans in order for them to become the Dark Lord [kind of hard to fill a singular role for four people but whatevs]. The reason the Four Kings are on this list is to illustrate how far a descent into evil can take you. These four were once regarded as wise kings, and humans no less who were chosen by Gwyn to lead humanity. But instead they gave into the Abyss and became monsters determined to become one with the Dark, killing or worse, Hollowing thousands of people, and being the catalyst for New Londo to be flooded in order to keep them and their Dark-wraiths at bay. They were responsible for the deaths of thousands, and by the time you face them in the Abyss, they have become completely unrecognizable as human beings, instead looking like twisted gray masses with black holes for hearts [I'm not kidding, look closely at the picture.]

7.) Alma Wade [F.E.A.R series]



Children are a product of their environment. So what do you get when you have an immensely powerful psychic brutally experimented on, forced to give birth as a child to twins, and finally sealed into a giant ball of psychic repressing steel? You get Alma. I'm sure there are those who would argue that Alma isn't technically evil since she acts as she does because of her horrific childhood but that's just an excuse. Alma is well aware of what she does when she uses her powers to liquefy people, trap people in their darkest nightmares, and even warp reality itself to spawn monsters from her nightmares. The scariest thing about her though? Its worse if she loves you. She ruthlessly stalks her own children in her child form and due to her own uncontrollable power, getting too close to her is deadly, and if she takes an interest in you its likely she will try to have her way with you in her adult form. And the thing is, Alma is dead. Remember that ball I mentioned earlier? Sometime before the story of F.E.A.R begins, life support is cut off and her body dies. But her powers essentially make her a god since she continues to exist and can even become pregnant. Nothing can stop Alma and this is part of what makes her evil. She has the mind of a child, and with limitless power at her fingertips she can literally do anything she wants, something no child should have since they don't understand responsibility or morality. She is without morals, killing indiscriminately and doing absolutely anything she wants without thinking about others, and she has no sense of responsibility as she allows her powers to run wild and in the process nearly destroys reality itself.

6.) Kefka Palazzo [Final Fantasy 6]



You knew Kefka would be on this list at some point. Where do I even begin with this guy? Practically everything imaginable has been said about him. The symbolism of his boss fight, becoming the God of Magic, his extreme nihilistic mindset, his contempt for all life, including his own. Starting off as a jester, throughout the plot of Final Fantasy 6 Kefka is shown to be a narcissistic, nihilistic, psychotic jester who only finds joy in absolute destruction. Poisoning an entire town's water supply, torturing and extracting the power of Espers in order to empower himself, and causing the end of the world itself by disrupting the Warring Triad, and even after the human race and indeed all life on the planet is on the brink of extinction Kefka is still determined to destroy everything, using the Light of Destruction to destroy any remaining towns or humans left. But for as evil and twisted as Kefka is, there is an air of tragedy to him as well that prevents him being at number 1. Throughout his final battle, and especially his lines during the final phase of the fight, it seems as though Kefka not only desires for for all life, he desires destruction for himself as well. Either way he gets what he wants during this battle, if he wins, he will continue destroying the world until there is nothing left, but if the party defeats him, he will know true bliss by being destroyed. A complex villain, but nonetheless an evil one.

5.) Albert Wesker {Resident Evil series}



Wesker was the original backstabber in video games. Throughout Resident Evil 1 this guy is working behind the scenes to cover up all evidence of Umbrella's involvement in the original outbreak of the T-Virus and even enlists Barry Burton's help by threatening his family. Upon releasing the Tyrant however, he is presumably killed and we think we've seen the end of him. But the most fearsome trait of Wesker has always been his ability to plan for any eventuality. By injecting himself with an experimental virus and allowing himself to be killed, Wesker was able to survive his wounds and became Umbrella's ultimate Tyrant. From that point on Wesker dedicated himself to collecting bio-weapons the likes of which would eventually eclipse the T-virus in lethality for goals that would for the most part remain uncertain. He is a schemer and has no morals, living by a philosophy that only the strong survive and the weak should die. All throughout his career as a bio-terrorist he has been responsible for the some of the greatest tragedies in the series and due to his abiltities granted by the virus he carries, its unlikely he would ever recieve karma for his many crimes. Until Resident Evil 5 and he turned into a.... something that will never be mentioned again.

4.) SHODAN [System Shock series]



I had a hard time deciding whether or not to put SHODAN on this list due to her nature as an AI.... but then I remembered something. SHODAN is not a typical AI, she's perhaps the most accurate depiction of a true Artificial Intelligence ever seen in a video game. Meaning she is not simply a computer system running on pre-programmed instructions or acting under any sort of guidelines.... she is capable of making decisions and forming plans on her own, and due to having her moral restraints removed from her programming, she is perhaps the most evil character on this list in terms of a lack of empathy or compassion to other living things. Its not even accurate to call SHODAN a "she" as she is all things considered, a computer program with no true gender. But regardless of gender, the fact stands that this character is pure evil, possessing a God complex and thinking of humans as little more than insects, manipulating others around her into doing her bidding by destroying her creations, horrible mutants. During this long trek all she does is taunt you, appearing to you at your weakest and taunting you over your failures and your supposed inferiority all the while she sets out to create her own reality where she will become the equivalent of a god. Diabolical, a megalomaniac, and treacherous.

3.) Ridley (Metroid series)




Ridley... at first eye's glance, hes an alien pterodactyl who can breathe fire and serves as the second to last boss in most Metroid games. Under the surface though? Ridley is Samus's mortal enemy and a constant reminder to Samus of why she became a bounty hunter. Ridley is a space pirate who killed Samus's parents in front of her and after growing up Samus hunted him and his fellow Space Pirates, destroying him and taking revenge for her parent's death. But that was no the end for Ridley. If anything, it would only serve to deepen the hatred these two share for each other. Whether its through cloning, cybernetic enhancements, or resurrection through an alien parasite, Ridley has always without fail, been able to return in order to get revenge on Samus. And each time Samus barely manages to defeat him, all the while presumablely hoping that each encounter will be the last. Ridley is a special kind of nemesis, a unique form of evil. He is the kind that will never dissapear until he has exacted his revenge. He is a ghost from Samus's past that will continue to haunt her for all eternity and each battle leaves new scars, both physical and mental that will eat away at Samus until Ridley finally knows victory. An unstoppable and ever present evil.

2.) Pyramid Head (Silent Hill 2)



Oh I can hear the typing of keyboards now.... Pyramid Head isn't evil! He's the physical manifestation of James's desire for punishment for killing his wife! You are correct. 100% correct in fact. But you know what else he is? The manifestation of James's subconcious desires that he has repressed for good reason. James is not exactly normal, nor balanced mentally. He's sexually frustrated, has deep seated anger towards Mary for how she treated him during her final months, and yes does desire punishment for his sins. So how does this all manifest in Silent Hill? A sexually crazed, wrathful, and masochistic monster wielding a giant knife [later spear] that rapes several other monsters in Silent Hill that represent James's sexual desires, killing Maria repeatedly in order to show James's own anger at Mary, and wears a giant pyramid shaped helmet lined with spikes on the inside in order to constantly punish itself. I don't care what anyone says, this thing is evil in how its formed from the worst, most disgusting parts of a person's mind. [a mind which was already messed up to begin with by the way.] Its only redeeming trait is how it is trying to force James to see and accept his part in Mary's death, but even that could written off as the beast's own desires to inflict suffering and pain on others as its "creator" set out to free himself from tending to his cancer ridden wife. I could very well be mistaken about Pyramid Head, but that's part of why the Silent Hill games are so good, and why Silent Hill 2 is so good. There is so much room for speculation and forming theories. And in my opinion Pyramid Head is evil, I mean he was made through the darkest parts of a person's mind, and from a person who murdered his own wife no less.

1.) Diablo [Diablo series]



Diablo was always going to be Number 1 on this list for one reason. He is literally pure evil. He is the Lord of Terror and one of the Prime Evils. As far as evil goes in gaming, there is literally nothing darker than Diablo and his siblings. But Diablo himself is unique among the Great Evils in that he is the youngest among the Prime Evils, and the most treacherous. He planned for himself and his brothers Baal and Mephisto to be banished to Sanctuary so they could rule over humanity and exploit the Nephaelem. He planned for his own inittal destruction in Diablo 1 and 2 so he would be sealed in the Black Soulstone later on and gather the other Evils into himself. Why? So he could become the Prime Evil, or Tathamet reborn. While he may not have committed the same amount of tragedies as other characters on this list, Diablo himself is at once the most reprehensible and least likely to atone or seek redemption for his crimes against the High Heavens  and against mankind due to his very nature as evil itself. He is literally evil incarnate, and now that he has taken all the other Great Evils into himself, no other gaming character even comes close to encompassing all that he does. He is Terror, Hatred, Destruction, Sin, Lies, Pain, and Anguish incarnate in one being. Destruction is not possible for this unstoppable force of pure evil, at best he can only be sealed away, and even then it is unlikely to ever stop him from returning. Diablo, the most evil video game character of all time.







Monday, May 19, 2014

Top Ten Badasses in gaming

There are characters in gaming who stand out more than others due to their looks, their abilities, personality, or just the way they compose themselves. Some characters are more memorable than others and as such are referred to as bad-ass. Now for this list only, I will not be ranking these characters from coolest to least coolest, they are all equal in my mind. Also remember that I have not played every game in existence and this is opinion based. So if someone you like doesn't appear on this list, don't worry about it.  So with all that said, let's take a look at some of the coolest characters in gaming (In my opinion.)

Meta Knight



Meta Knight is one of those characters you see once and just say "I want to play as that character." Wielding the Galaxia blade, sporting enormous wings he can fly with, and looking like a dark blue version of Kirby under his armor, Meta Knight is just a plain awesome character. Whether he's acting as Kirby's rival, or a steadfast ally in times of need, whenever we see him we know we are in for a treat. Something that adds to his coolness factor is also how honorable he is, whenever he is a boss he will always give you a sword to fight him with. He's basically saying " Let's go, no tricks, you vs me. Let's see who wins." But the real reason Meta Knight stands out so much as a badass, is considering how different he is from other characters in Kirby. Most enemies and even the main antagonist King Dedede are colorful and cartoonish [aside from the REAL final bosses who can be quite disturbing], while Meta Knight stands out with his dark appearance and almost sinister looking design.

Jill Valentine



In a world filled with zombies, humanoid reptiles, and biological weapons like Tyrants, you have to give Jill Valentine credit. She's not only faced every biological horror imaginable, she's overcome them. Whenever Jill is around we are treated to great quotes [Insert Jill sandwich joke here.] legendary monsters [Nemesis.] and surprisingly good games from a franchise even its most hardcore fans consider dead [Revelations.] No matter what kind of situation she is thrown into, Jill is able to survive and even thrive. She's survived the destruction of Raccoon City, being infected with the T-Virus, facing the Nemesis innumerable times, and even tackling Wesker out of a window over a sheer cliff into the ocean. And that's not even going into everything that happened in Revelations. For all the attention and reverence Chris gets in the games from other characters, we all know who the real badass is in the Resident Evil games.

Garret



There are different types of badasses. Some are gratuitous and over the top, and some are subtle. Garret may not be able to do back flips over speeding cars and fight enemies at inhuman speeds, but when you need someone to steal everything that isn't bolted down to the floor in a castle while leaving absolutely no trace of himself and alerting no one, look no further. Garret exemplifies everything great about a master thief. He can pick any lock, sneak past any number of guards in any layout, and steal anything without its owner being any the wiser. He accomplishes all of this with his own highly trained senses and sharp thinking skills, as well as an arsenal of arrows and gadgets. But what truly makes him a badass is his razor sharp wit and sarcastic quips as he sneaks around taking absolutely anything of value. Oh, and he had his eye ripped out by a pagan deity and had it replaced with a cybernetic eye. Just a little bonus bit.

Artorias the Abysswalker



Out of all the characters in Dark Souls, the only one that really stands out as badass would have to be Artorias. Putting aside the fact that his character design is very similar to Guts from Berserk, his personality and abilities are what propels him to the rank of badass. Possessing an unbreakable will of steel, Artorias set out with his wolf companion Sif to end the spread of the Abyss. However he was defeated by Manus, his arm was crushed into dust, and the Abyss corrupted him. Even after all of this though, he continues to fight against the corrupted humans of Oolacille despite his injuries until he comes across your character. No longer able to hold off the Dark corrupting him, Artorias becomes the equivalent of a berserk animal. We get to fight him , but its implied that we are fighting Artorias at only half his strength and skill. Even drawing upon the Abyss to give himself strength, his wounds are too severe for him to completely recover from, and he can only ever use one of his arms since his left arm is gone. His attacks have no skill or technique to them either, its all about sheer physical force, dominating you with pure power. That's really what makes Artorias so badass. His power. We never truly see it, just a glimpse of it.

 Red



The entire Pokemon series is built around the concept of capturing and training Pokemon in order to become a Pokemon Master. While you fight at least five Pokemon Masters in each game, those being the Elite Four and the Champion, I think its safe to say that out of any character in the Pokemon series, no one embodies the concept of Pokemon Master more than Red. He has a team consisting of different types all of which are in the 70-80 level range, each one requiring a different strategy to take down. Red himself despite his power and prestige as both the previous Pokemon League Champion, and the trainer who defeated Team Rockey, never talks presumably because there is nothing to say to someone who is his equal [You.] While his boss music is shared by Lance, it goes better with Red and it these factors, a powerful team, awesome music, and great attitude, that cements the battle with Red as a classic moment in gaming, and perhaps the most badass Pokemon Master in the Pokemon universe.

Auron



Auron is cool for a lot of reasons, but I'll try to keep them short. He wields his massive katana with ease, carries around a jug of nog, and only speaks when necessary but when he does, its usually something important and full of wisdom. Auron has never forgiven himself for allowing his two best friends to die and dedicates the rest of his existence to stopping Sin's endless cycle of rebirth, while keeping a promise to his friends to look after their children and protect them. His honor is really what makes him so cool and what cements him on this list, the fact that even death couldn't stop him from fulfilling his vow to his friends, and the vow he made to himself to stop Sin once and for all.

 Ezio Auditore



This guy starts off as one of the most obnoxious and insufferable twits you'll ever see in a video game. He's cocky, arrogant to a fault, self centered, and his bark is worse than his bite. He's desperately in need of a reality check.... and he soon gets one. The murder of his family is enough to drive Ezio on a quest of revenge at first.... but he slowly begins to mature. He begins killing the Templars not because they murdered his family, but because has begun embracing the principles of the Assassins and realizes that revenge won't make him happy. He stops thinking about himself and starts thinking of the larger picture. And over his journey of self discovery, he develops as a warrior and an assassin. He can wield any weapon, fight through any number of opponents, and assassinate any target with ease. He starts off weak, but by the end of his journey he has matured into something great.

Garrus Vakarian



Garrus gets on this list just because of his coolness factor. While at first he was just a cop who was willing to break the rules in order to get results, over time he began to realize that he could do much more if he had no rules to hinder him. Gathering a group of specialists, he began trying to rid Omega of crime one sector at a time, under the alias Archangel. He became such a thorn in the side of organized crime that the three largest gangs on Omega formed an alliance with the sole purpose of killing him. As the Mass Effect games progressed Garrus just became cooler, developing a sarcastic wit, and getting into a habit of competing with other crew mates when it came to who was a better soldier. Plus he has scars. Scars are always cool.

Samus Aran



The definitive badass. Samus is like Jill Valentine in the sense that she's faced innumerable threats that seemed impossible to overcome, the difference? With Jill it always seemed uncertain, but with Samus it always seemed attainable. No matter what kind of threat Samus faces, we know deep down that she will emerge victorious, no matter what threat she faces. Whether its a horde of Metroids, another incarnation of Ridley, or the loss of all her suit functions, Samus is the type of character who we know cannot be defeated by anything the galaxy throws at her, due to her intelligence, acrobatic skills, weapons and sheer determination. She's a character who was groundbreaking for her time, and continues to inspire gamers every time she appears...... except for Other M.

Dante



Dante is a badass. The definition of it. What makes him different from everyone else on this list? Dante has to show it off. How badass he is. Almost every cut-scene in the Devil May Cry games involves him making sarcastic remarks, surfboarding off the backs of demons, easily toying with the most powerful of Hell's minions, and performing some of the most gratuitous displays of awesome ever seen in a video game. Even the act of eating pizza is made enjoyable for us to watch as he does so while fighting demons barehanded. He can be stabbed with swords, blasted with fire, and struck by lightning, but then get up a second later as if nothing happened with making a sarcastic quip. But for all this bravado, his comments and attitude have an air of sophistication to them. He never curses and uses baseless insults when dealing with his enemies, as it seems he's above that. And while he can spout the occasional cheesy or dorky line, even those lines are enjoyable since he's having such a good time doing his job that we enjoy it with him.

Red Vulture out.



Monday, March 17, 2014

Top Ten Worst Video Game Bosses

Video game bosses are seen as tests to see what the player has learned in the game, a milestone a gamer needs to overcome in order to progress to show that they can in fact progress. But then there are bosses that are either unimpressive, poorly designed, or just so boring  and long it induces boredom rather an excitement. These are ten of the worst bosses I've ever faced in a video game. Quick disclaimer: I have not played every video game in existence, so if there is a terrible boss that isn't on this list, chances are I didn't know about it, or haven't fought the boss so I can't judge it. With all that said, let's begin.

10.) Bargantia (Folklore)



Folklore, while not a perfect game by any means, has some really awe inspiring bosses with some very unique designs. So how do you ruin that? By taking the worst kind of level [water level] and putting in a terrible boss. In this case, a freaking eel. All this thing does is swim outside of your range, fires projectiles that are extremely easy to avoid, and will occasionally swim close enough for you to hit. This is made even worse by what is ironically Folklore's greatest strength, the fact that you need to use a very specific Folk to attack Bargantia with, and the fact that Bargantia moves too fast for most of your attacks to hit. More than anything, this fight is long and boring rather than difficult or challenging. But this boss is more boring than badly designed, so it only gets number 10.

9.) Barthandelus ( Final Fantasy 13.)



That is a troll face if I ever saw one. You have to fight this guy three times [technically four, but the fourth time its technically Orphan's first form] he has a massive amount of health and high defenses meaning that each fight takes an absurd amount of time [ a half an hour at the bare minimum.] More than anything this boss is difficult not because he has a range of powerful attacks or spells, not because there is a very specific strategy you need, but because he takes so long to kill and it takes longer to beat him each time. And since the fights take so long if by some miracle you do die, you have to fight him all over again meaning this fight can take hours of you retrying the boss fight. And before anyone asks, why don't you just grind so you're overpowered? Well in Final Fantasy 13, up until 3/4th s of the game, you will only be able to grind to a certain point and then you wont be able to level up past a certain point until the last chapter. Even at max level for the first two times you fight Barthandelus you will have trouble and the fight will take forever. But like Bargantia, this fight is more boring than anything else. Just a half hour of pressing the X button, while occasionally selecting a different role. Riveting.

8.) Dr. Bumby AKA The Dollmaker [Alice: Madness Returns]



Oh look at that we're moving away from the boring bosses and into the uninspired. I love the American McGee Alice games, they're incredibly fun platformers [aside from the first game's vine segments.] and Madness Returns is one of the best platformers of the seventh console generation. Madness Returns just has some extremely imaginative levels depicting Wonderland and the ruin its falling into due to Bumby's influence on Alice's mind. And Bumby to his credit is a pretty good villian, wanting to brainwash Alice into repressing not only her bad memories but her very self so she can be, well, a lifeless doll. A boss fight with Bumby's incarnation in Wonderland seems like it would be just as fun and memorable as the Red Queen fight from the first Alice game. Well instead of that, you have to fight the same enemies you've been fighting the entire game, while occasionally dodging and fighting the Dollmaker's fingers. If that sounds lame then you're right, it is. This boss had so much going for it, great design, great idea, a reason to hate the villain, the fate of Wonderland hanging in the balance, and we fight fingers.

7.) Deadshot (Arkham Origins)



This boss was originally going to be a tie between Deadshot, Firefly, and Lady Shiva from Arkham Origins since all three of them were horribly executed. But in the end I had to give it to Deadshot simply because this fight could have been one of, if not the greatest fight in the whole game. Deadshot is one of, if not the most skilled marksmen in the DC universe. So let me throw the scenario I was imagining at you. You get shot at by Deadshot somewhere in Gotham. You need to utilize cover, and figure out where Deadshot is in the city firing at you and then make your way to him without getting killed. Sounds really tense and exciting doesn't it? Well too bad, the boss fight with him is a standard Predator encounter with the only difference being that his bullets can bounce off objects meaning he can hit you anywhere in the room. Oh and he's armored meaning he takes a few more hits than most enemies. and you have to deal with two groups of enemies. While making sure you remain undetected so he doesn't kill the hostages. Look at it this way, if you want a great Deadshot fight, play Arkham City. Rocksteady was able to pull it off much better.

6.) Haytham Kenway (Assassin's Creed 3)



And now we move from uninspired to the badly designed, and oh look a boss from the worst Assassin's Creed game. This fight is identical to pretty much every other fight in the Assassin's Creed series, you wait for your enemy to attack and counter attack immediately. the difference here? Well, your health is extremely low and the screen is constantly red meaning its hard to see. And since Haytham is extremely fast, chances are you're going to die a few times since you can't see him move, nor can you survive taking more than two hits. But its not just that this boss results in cheap deaths, its that this fight is supposed to be an extremely emotional fight between father and son, but it fails to hit that high point due to the terribly designed boss fight, and the fact that the story of Assassin's Creed 3 is boring and uninteresting.

5.) Brayko (Alpha Protocol)



Alpha Protocol despite all its problems is an espionage RPG that every RPG fan should try at least once. And Brayko stands high atop the many problems of Alpha Protocol as the worst boss in the entire game. Brayko wields two SMGs that cause extremely high amounts of damage, and sneaking up on him is next to impossible unless you can cloak. In addition when his health starts to go down, Brayko goes berserk and will chase you with a knife. You can't stun or slow him down while shooting him and if he catches up to you, he'll take a large chunk off your health and his attacks will stun you meaning you can't get away. As the fight goes on he'll go off to recover leaving you to fight endlessly respawning thugs one of which you'll want to keep alive since it means you won't have to fight a new wave of enemies. There are a few ways to make this fight easier like poisoning his cocaine for when he buffs himself, but these are optional methods to make him weaker, they shouldn't be something that is nearly required to beat the boss.

4.) Malacoda (Resident Evil: Revelations)



Out of any surprisingly good game that came out in 2013, the biggest one had to be the console port of Resident Evil Revelations. It hearkened back to the original Resident Evil games and aside from every section where you didn't play as Jill,  the game was fantastic. Until you got to Malacoda, a giant infected whale. Enemies that are hard to kill in survival horror games are not inherently terrifying, they're just hard to kill. and firing rockets, Gatling guns, and every weapon imaginable at a giant monster does not make a good survival horror boss. This fight is a huge letdown compared to other great Resident Evil bosses because there is no tension in this fight. I didn't feel like I was fighting a Resident Evil boss, I felt like I was playing a worse version of Gears of War.

3.) Bed of Chaos ( Dark Souls)



Oh look we get to talk about the Bed of Chaos again. I hate this boss. Its a giant environmental hazard that you have to get lucky with in order to kill. Its completely dissapointing compared to other bosses in Dark Souls, and it goes against the entire philosophy of the games. No memorizing enemy attack patterns, just run from one side to another until you destroy both orbs, then make your way to the center of its body and kill a bug. And when you die? It won't be because the boss killed you, it will most likely be because the boss smacked you into a hole in  the ground leading to an instant death. And you can tell From Software knew that this boss would be too difficult as it was, because once you destroy an orb it stays gone. There may be exploits to beat this boss easily, like being REALLY good with a bow, or just using Homeward Bones, but just because you can exploit a boss doesn't mean its not badly designed.

2.) Silver the Hedgehog (Sonic 06)



Yeah.... I just had to use this picture. It so perfectly captures the essence of what is probably the worst designed boss in video game history. When fighting Silver, he can use his psychic powers to grab you, hold you immobile, and then throw you dealing damage. The only time you can hit him is when he is getting ready to throw things at you. Doesn't sound so bad right? Well it wouldn't..... if Sonic 06 was a finished game. Silver can grab you in midair, throw you dealing damage, then when you fall, catch you again, throw you, etc etc. If you hit a wall, he can do the same thing. Worst of all if you do hit a wall, but catch a ring, you will be caught in an infinite loop since you always have at least one ring while Silver continually catches you and throws you into a wall. All while hearing that same line over and over again. The reason this fight isn't number 1 though? Well you get to play as Silver later on, and its VERY fun to do to Sonic what Silver did to you.

1.) Wargoyle ( Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance.)



The Kingdom Hearts series is every Disney fan's dream as you are able to fight some of the greatest Disney villains with one of the best combat systems seen in a hack and slash game. In Dream Drop Distance you are able to visit the world of the Hunchback of Notre Dame, aka people thought Frollo or at least a manifestation of the darkness in his heart would be a boss. Just picture that for a moment, Frollo, one of Disney's darkest, most complex villains having his dark desires manifested in the form of a monster you have to fight. Expecting some fiery hell-fire angel? Nope, you fight a rainbow colored fruit bat instead. This fight is made even worse though by the fact that since you can only gain abilities by bonding with your Dream Eaters [ Think of it like a Tamugachi pet] chances are that you won't have any good abilities like Leaf Bracer, which you will need. Not to mention this boss has a large amount of health for only being the second boss, at least four bars worth and you won't be able to deal any significant damage to it. This boss encompasses everything on this list, the fight is boring because of its lame appearance, its overwhelmingly difficult for such an early part of the game, its wasted potential from what could've been a great boss fight, and you have to fight this thing three times.

Hope you enjoyed this list, now if you'll excuse me, Dark Souls 2 is waiting.

Red Vulture out.